Patterns, they exist in nature and past lives

I experienced a past life healing today.  When life gets crazy I tend to check in with one of my psychic friends.  Psychics are just powerfully intuitive people who have learned to tune-in to their clairvoyant or clairaudient abilities in order to share messages from the spiritual realm with those of us who reside more firmly in the material world.

The woman I work with always calls on my angels, spirit guides and the arch angels to guide our session and make sure every message that comes through is for my highest good.

Today we were tuning-in to understand the deeper significance of my relationship with my former boss.  I can tell right away when I meet certain people that there is a past life or karmic connection but I don’t always foresee how or why our relationship has come to be, if it will go sideways and what lesson I am supposed to learn from the encounter.  Usually there is a lesson and hind sight is always 20/20.

In the case of my most recent encounter with a karmic soul relationship, it ended badly.  I was betrayed by my boss, a man who I genuinely tried to like and respect, a man that I felt I understood.  He kept me in the dark about many things that were unfolding in our workplace and only brought me bits of information.  All the while he was setting up a situation with the board members and other employees in my workplace to blame me for his failures as a leader.

I wasn’t the first one that he had done this to but for some reason I didn’t think he would do it to me and when he did – it hit me really hard.  He had pretended to care about me and I wanted to believe him.  By the time I realized what he had done, the damage was done, my fate was sealed.  I tried to hang on as long as possible, hoping that those who could remove him from his position would do so before he ruined me.  An eerie battle of wills between the two of us emerged.  We both recognized that there was something bigger behind our battle, something karmic yet we carried on.  The more I stood up for myself, the more he tried to cut me down.  After one very painful meeting with several board members where my department was completely blown up and my authority to direct the work flow of my team was completely undermined, I left in defeat, crying and struggling to cling to any speck of gratitude I could muster up in order to keep my self out of anger and rage.  As I was taking my self out for tea to try to calm down, he called me.  He asked me to meet him for lunch.  I met him and he held my hand and genuinely seemed to have compassion for my plight, even though we both knew he had set up the entire situation.   The antics continued on for a few more weeks and then finally it came to a point of no return and with a heavy heart I quit my job.

Months later when they finally did fire him, I felt relieved and reassured that there is justice in the world but I still felt like a victim and I was energetically drained from the experience.  My doctors even diagnosed me with adrenal failure and traced the origins of my increasing migraine headaches back to the stress I experienced.

After I quit, I worked on all my inner self work.  I asked my self the hard questions about what my part was in the whole situation.  I wondered why I had attracted the situation.  I ritualistically cut energetic cords with him.  I meditated  for hours and days.  I cleared my space, I burned sage, I went to yoga every day to clear my chakras.  But I still had a hard time shaking the experience and weirdly he wanted to stay friends with me.  When I ran into him later, he even encouraged me to apply for his position after they let him go.

I really needed to understand what this was about.  What my part in it was.  Why I had attracted this experience into my life.  I don’t believe in coincidences and so I kept seeking for answers.  When my psychic friend Laura suggested we do a past life healing, I knew it was the only thing left that could help me move forward.  I’ve never tuned-in to my past lives before.  I have seen myself as a shaman sitting in meditation and I have been told by a psychic that my disdain for cedar-wood oil is related to a past life experience when I was a shaman that involved a negative event and the smell of cedar-wood.  So I now understand why the smell triggers such a visceral repulsion, it’s from a past life experience – which makes sense to me somehow.  Today I learned about another past life.  One that involved my recent former boss.  And now it all makes sense to me.

In my past life, Laura told me she saw me as a prisoner and my former boss was a guard.  He would make sure he was the one that brought me my meager rations.  When he brought them he would act like he was being generous with me, doing me a favor.  She said that I remained a prisoner because I wanted to help him.  I actually perpetuated my own imprisonment, manifested its continuation because of my desire to help him.  I wanted to show him another way of being, to save him.    When I gave up on him, my imprisonment ended.

I had not told Laura anything of my experience with him in this life just that I had been forced to quit my job and that I was having a hard time getting over it and moving on.  When she shared this picture that came to her of our past life relationship, I right away could identify with the similarity.  The pattern of abuse and my wanting to stay and help.  My imprisonment to my work.  When my freedom to direct my department and make decisions was taken from me.  When my character was attacked and board members joined in with the torture, pretending to help when really they were just barely letting me hang on.  It was all the same energetic pattern as Laura described in this scene from my past life where I was a prisoner being told that the meager rations provided to me were coming from some place of generosity.  It feels the same.  It feels bad.  And now I know what my lesson is.  I can’t save everyone.  I don’t need to stay in prison to try to help the prison guard that can’t be saved.  Sometimes those people and situations have to find their own way.  By giving up on them I have released myself from imprisonment.  I have moved forward.  Recognizing that it wasn’t something I did wrong, or something I could have prevented really but rather a pattern that I can now recognize and never repeat – is so healing!  She said he had attached energetic cords to my heart chakra and that although I’ve cut some of them I need to do some more clearing.  I intuitively know she is right – I have more work to do.

We also looked into two other relationships and what Laura saw and shared with me was very healing.  In the other two cases, I had done the work, stood up for myself, cut the cords and moved on but recognizing these patterns for what they are is so helpful for me in my present life and I imagine it will be a learning that will propel me forward in all my lives; present, past and future.