children

When I think about my life in the context of all my past lives – I realize I am old.  As a being.  An old soul, I guess.  Or maybe just a mid-life soul.  

It makes me feel young in this life but also older at the same time. It’s a new perspective for me.  One of recalling experiences throughout time not just experiences since my most recent birth in 1972 AD.  Like I’m 46 years old but also 206 years old since I have knowledge of my last incarnation.  And actually could be 1000 years old if I count in all the lives that have been shared with me by my psychic friend. It’s been kind of mind blowing and a new reality I’m starting to grow into.  I’m remembering who I really am – outside my (up until now) limited perspective within this one incarnation.  Maybe this explains why the Bible said people like Adam and Noah were over 900 years old – perhaps they had full recall of past lives at that point in human evolution.  

As I was driving and contemplating this new perspective, my daughter, in the back seat said,  “this year has gone really fast, it’s almost Spring!”  I had to remind her that it is still Winter – it’s just that in California after a week of cold rainy weather when it returns to 70 degrees and sunny for a day we think Winter is over.  I told her it will rain again next week, Spring isn’t here yet.  

She persisted saying, “but this year is going really fast.”  Remembering that she is turning 10 this week (the big double digit birthday) I had to pause and reflect on her perspective.  I agreed,and shared with her that as she gets older she will notice time seems to speed up.  It’s because she has been alive longer and so 1 year is a smaller percentage of her lifetime each year.  She is learning fractions in school right now so this prompted a whole math discussion… when you were two a year was 1/2 your life.  Now it’s only 1/10th. 

I’ve always thought of Life experiences as being an important clue about our true spiritual nature.  To me it didn’t make sense that we all want to have as many experiences as possible, even a “bucket list” and that we think it’s important for our loved ones to have that last vacation with grandma or trip somewhere before they die.  Why would it matter if we are just etch sketches that get erased?  It matters I thought, because we are not etcha sketches. 

We must carry these experiences beyond death.  Now I am convinced through my own realization of my past life, that we carry them beyond death and rebirth into our next incarnation.  The experiences of my past lives affect my behavior, fears, knowings in this life and so all of my experiences from all of my lives are a part of me.  The ones in this life are just more recent.  And so this life seems brief, in context. 

Maybe I’m having a mid-life soul crisis!?  I don’t know but the one thing I do know is that my basic way of being, my core demeanor- transcends time.  I am more than this ordinary woman incarnated currently as Jen and previously as Nell and before that as….  This is just my most recent experience of myself.  

I once reflected on how things I did in my early twenties. Friends I had then, seem to have affected my life in a greater way than more recent acquaintances.   I believe this is because they’ve had a greater length of impact. Like they shadow more of my future life.  Things I did in my twenties – I’ve been reflecting on for 25 years.  Things I’ve done in my forties I’ve only had 6 years the re-elect back upon.  Now let’s apply that logic to early past lives vs. my most recent past life (only 200 years ago).  Has being choked to death in a past life thousands of years ago had a greater influence than being stabbed in the back 200 years ago?  Maybe.  I wonder which one will be easier to heal.  I’m working on both.  I’ll keep you posted.  

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