Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the key to overcoming hate. Hate comes from feeling that someone has wronged you. That they are a threat to you. That they have taken or might take something from you.

Hate is a strong emotion, it’s different than anger but similar. Hate is against another. Hate holds within it a sense of being taken from. All hate is really greed. When we feel a strong sense of hate we can ask ourselves, what do we feel greedy about? Is it money? The companionship of a loved one? Sex?  Jealousy is also a form of greed and can result in a form of hate called resentment.

Once we’ve identified why we are experiencing the emotion of hate, identified what what we desire to the point of jealousy or greed, we can see why we hate the person, group of people or thing that we believe is blocking us from having that in our lives.

This can be simple, but it can also be very complex. For example, many people hate “the 1%”. The wealthy people they believe are hoarding all the money. What is desired is more money. Arguably hate of the 1% is related to a feeling of lack of wealth. Lack and greed are two sides of the same coin. Have you ever seen children scramble for candy under a piñata? People in a place of lack quickly turn greedy when abundance is presented to them. They feel entitled. So just know that if you are feeling hate, you are in a place of lack and greed. If you stay in hate it will wreak havoc on your health, your relationships and your well being. The only way out is forgiveness.

Now let’s explore a more complicated scenario. Someone kills your loved one. You hate them. They took something precious from you. You want vindication but really what you want is your loved one back. You can’t get out of that place of loss of lack of your loved one in your life and you can’t stop hating the person you perceive put you there. Right or wrong, having feelings of hate will wreak havoc on your health, your relationships and your well being.

Have you ever wondered how people can forgive the person who killed their loved one? I’ve seen it. It is always amazing. And every time they say they had to forgive them- they couldn’t keep on hating.

How do we do it – how do we access forgiveness? It’s not easy, you have to walk your mind through a logic that will allow you to get there. Maybe it’s not their fault, maybe they had a tragic childhood, maybe they were born into a wealthy family, whatever the story you come up with to logically get there – it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you access your center of compassion. When you can forgive you open up your capacity for compassion. This brings you out of hate and greed and into balance within yourself.

I know someone who consciously took up this exercise. When he was able to forgive – he nearly vomited. He had a visceral reaction with heat filling his body. It was a powerful transformation for him. It can save your life and put you back in harmony with well being.

Forgiving yourself is also an important contemplation.  We may not even realize that our hate it being directed at our self.  When we get present and really quiet we often hear our own thoughts of hate.  “Why didn’t I…I’m so stupid…I should have…” what do we do with those thoughts?  We have to consciously work on forgiving ourselves.  Realize that hindsight is not the lens through which we should judge our past actions.  Realize that you did the best you could at that time (in the past) with where you were and what you knew.  You’ve grown and evolved since then and you can forgive yourself.  No apologies, just forgive and move forward with compassion for yourself.

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