I’ve come to realize that grief is the ultimate human experience. It’s why we’re here. That may sound crazy since we all do everything and anything possible to avoid the experience of grief. Grief is painful. No one wants to experience the death of a loved one and most of us would go to extreme measures to save a life but ultimately dying is an experience we will each have and since we are all born and die at different times – we will each have the experience of grief, some of us more profoundly than others but no one gets to skip the grief class. It’s required.
Well it’s actually only required for the living. I mean to say – it’s an earthly experience. And I believe it is central to why we are here.
Before we were born into our earthly physical body – we were souls or spirit. We might have had prior incarnations as people or animals or mermaids – whatever. The point is that when we weren’t incarnated we were still alive and conscious in some spiritual paradigm that I like to refer to as a soul. A being without a body. A being that is more than any one incarnation. You may not believe that but I do. So let’s indulge in my perspective for a minute.
As souls we are connected with the source of all life. That source which is pure love and from which we are formed of love. When you’re immersed in something the way souls are immersed and connected in and to love – it’s hard to know what love is. There is no contrast or comparison. All you know is that which you are. As we all learned by leaving our own family at some point – there is a certain amount of perspective gained by leaving that which you are and where you are from.
As humans we leave love and our interconnection to all that is to experience separateness. Individuality. We incarnate as humans on earth. Immediately we fear death because we believe we are only existing in a singularity, in this realm we call reality. we usually do not remember our life before we were born. Our soul experience or last incarnations. We only know the present incarnation and we long for something. We long for love and interconnection, for acceptance and comfort. We long to know we are not alone.
Those of us who like to be alone – are the ones who feel the connection to all that is. Who have retained or somehow not forgotten that we are interconnected to the source of all that is. We are never alone, even in our solitude.
So, when a loved one crosses back over the threshold and returns to spirit – we experience separation in the physical realm. It’s extremely painful. We immediately remember how much we loved that one. We see the love more from the perspective of loss. The perception of separateness or finiteness helps us do what we came to earth to do. To know and understand love from a vantage point outside unity with love.
Grief is a feeling that allows us to know and understand love better. It’s the exact opposite of love. Grief could not exist without love. They are inextricably linked.
We store memories of grief in a place – I think not just in our brain but also in our bodies. When we experience another loss or witness another experiencing grief or loss – it re-awakens our own awareness and past experiences of grief. It takes us back to the place of pain. We will cry for another’s loss. That deep sadness, that knowing of love from the vantage point of loss of the connection to our beloved person is the hardest experience and also – it’s the reason we are here.
To experience and know love from the experience of earthly incarnation is not something that every spirit or soul has experienced. Only those brave enough to incarnate to earth. To experience the pain of it all. We do this because while we suffer greatly in our moments of grief, our soul knows that the life experience is fleeting and that our soul experience is greater by a multitude. The soul needs the experience of separation but knows in truth we are never separate. It’s an illusion on the earth plane. Really we are always connected and can never be separate. Enjoy the roller coaster but know it’s fleeting. Your loved one is very much alive in spirit and can never truly be taken from you. All are one and all are love.