Monks and nuns performed many practical services in the Middle Ages, they housed travelers, healed the sick and assisted the poor; abbots and abbesses dispensed advice to secular rulers. When the king traveled he stayed in convents. This picture of convent as a resort for the ruling class has emerged for me. One where meditation and spiritual practices were held to heal and advise and also where yin yang energy was conducted and exchanged – although not called yin yang. The steeple of a church, the spire is a depiction of the place where energy enters into the world. Life force from the spiritual realm. And this attracts the empire and all those who stand in the power of the empire.
As I’ve come to remember a past life in the Middle Ages where I was the prioress of a nunnery and with that memory also knowledge of the true purpose of nunneries including the accommodation of noble men and land Barron’s who were treated not only to food and wine, a place to sleep but also to the attentiveness of young women who upheld vows of celibacy in order to remain pure for the purpose of sharing their energy and sexual arousal with these important men. This is the unspoken truth of the church. The hidden awareness of the mystical side of sex in the Middle Ages and the fallout from that abuse of power – the perversion and indulgence of the masculine and feminine divine.
While the elite were hoarding the sexual energy they were preaching to the masses to obstain and in so doing to control or de- mystify the spiritual side of sexual energy and encounter bringing it into a purely physical and somewhat greedy understanding for the un-enlightened.
And now we have wide spread sex abuse scandals in the church and a complete distortion of sex in the mainstream – pornography and misogyny abound. These are the outward manifestations of the undercurrent, the energy behind the institutions that has been hidden, forgotten but still evident in how it comes through energetically.
In this past life that I remember. Our nunnery had quit the reputation. And at some point I, as prioress was blamed for the financial failings of the abbot. Eventually imprisoned in the tower and after I jumped or was thrown from a window to my freedom only to be mortally injured – I found myself “cared” for by the other nuns who villified me and tortured me and felt rightful in their effort until my life went out of me, enduring excruciating pain and no mercy. My sisters didn’t straighten my crown. They tore me down. I have repeated this experience in my current lifetime – not the same exact one of course but a similar portrayal. My boss the former abbot. My church a school institution. My job to attract the light workers into the magic school and I had to throw myself out the window to save my reputation when the abbot incarnate as school director in this time – abused his position, discriminated against people of color and lost the empire money. Some of those same sisters who tortured me in 1500s Britain have tortured me in 1830s New York and in 2017 Pasadena, California. Same story different period. Same souls different incarnations. History repeats.
This is the story I find myself in over and over again. I am a manifestation of that goddesses from the temple of isis in the future new earth incarnating back into the old paradigm in order to bring the light into the darkness for the sake of a humanity that repeatedly fails and succumbs to lower base desires. The place where the light bringers must tap into the empire money to finance the ministries that hold a higher vibration.
The Magdalene becomes the prostitute in these historical contexts. And she does what only she can. She is both a heroin and villain. She sees the beauty in the darkness. She holds space for death and for the human psyche to tread water through trauma until those she helps can find their footing and locate themselves on a path toward goodness through time and space.
She hears the call. She finds herself in situations that no one else can understand. She is divinely supported. And her husband is in her heart. The Adam to her Eve, always with her and always sharing her experience. Even if no one else knows. Even if he is incarnated and doesn’t remember. Even if she is in physical marriage to another. They are on a mission. And when the mission becomes clear it’s an exciting adventure. The stuff action adventures are made of. The Matrix. Only this time she rides onthe back of a dragon with wingspan that can carry her and protect her, protect the grail, the seat of the divine feminine. The womb. The dragon, gate keeper, ever loyal will fiercely defend her. Her alchemical, soul husband is lost and still finding his way. He has taken up residence in another’s home. He is scared. Hiding. Pretending to be a commoner. He hasn’t stepped into his adventure. Their adventure. His Magdalene carries on alone. Waiting and wishing but no less determined to succeed in her mission.
If she is not wise and if she also forgets who she is – it can go the way of the War of the Roses, start out rocky like Mr & Mrs Smith. Those are the current cultural fairytales that expose the archetypal drama of our time. Of the twin flame journey now. The power to traverse realms of darkness while carrying light. Like a nuclear reactor can also be the most destructive. And even in their most destructive phase the powerhouses play into the magnetic push pull and attraction of the other. Consciously or not.
When we see our own self behaving badly we self loathe. We become the cutters of our own flesh. We destroy our mirror. It’s ugly. It’s intense. It’s the two sides of the same coin. Love and war. We have to choose consciously. To support. To hand hold. To be patient. To be kind. All those things that love is – we have to be to ourselves first. And then we can be to our reflection in the soul. To our powerhouse twin flame.
And then there are the other contracts we’ve made along the way. Imagine now Adam and Eve. But Eve – she leaves Adam and marries another. How should Adam feel? His mate. His other half. He knows they are one. They are the sacred Union, the original duo who share one soul and now she has brought in another. It can’t be undone. Another is now in their life and he must honor her choice. Co-parenting and respecting the free will to play out a human experience with another.
This is what happens for many twin flames. One will choose another because it’s easier. Less dramatic. Less adventure thriller and more romantic Hallmark movie. Mr and Mrs smith nearly killed each other in their adventure. It’s not an easy path. And so who would blame one for choosing a more tame existence.
The co-parenting story isn’t as much about actual children as it is about their mission. What they were born to do on the planet at this time for the good of humanity. And so it can still be that they carry out their mission as a business partnership and not a physical marriage. Although their soul knows the truth of their being. And the conscious twin knows that the physical marriage is a toleration and not the real Union that transcends into the spiritual realms. The HBO series Masters of Sex illustrates this in a most interesting storyline. The mission was a deeper understanding of sexual energy. And the relationships outside of work with other spouses became so distorted and at the same time when you understand them from the significance of the twin flame experience – it all makes perfect sense.
If you are a twin flame and you are not in the block buster fairytale ending drama that you always dreamed of with your twin. Fret not. Show respect for the free will choices of your other self. Live your own life. Love not less. Know that you are married to your twin. Always have been and always will be in divine Union. Acknowledge and respect the others who have come into relationship with her cosmic spouse. Be the bigger person. Allow. Give space. Focus on your mission. And draw from those moments however brief that you share the energy of god/dess with your twin. Cherish them and let it be enough. Keep cleansing your own karma. Practice radical gratitude when you experience fear and anger. Be forgiving when you feel taken from. Be generous. Only then can you find your whole heart and seal the gaping wounds of the daggers you’ve received throughout history and that you still carry in your auric and energetic body. Find your dragon, grail keeper and save yourself. Don’t chase your twin. Set him or her free but always leave the door open. Because you cannot close the door without shattering your own soul. Enjoy the date nights in your dream life. Don’t pursue them but notice when they come. When his consciousness is in yours – smile. Love him but don’t hold on. Just acknowledge the moment in your consciousness and know that your spiritual marriage is safe in the etheric realm. Who each of you chooses in physical reality makes no difference but give those relationships your utmost respect and attention too because they are real and they will effect your karma, potentially keeping you out of alignment with what you really want. Which is to go home to your soul, healed and un-wounded with as little karmic baggage as possible.
Happy 2.22.2022 If not now – there is always another life that awaits you. In 200 years it will be 2.22.2222 right?! Play your karma right and you may be rewarded with the blissful life you so want with your cosmic spouse, forever twin flame and spiritual wife/husband. Don’t be too disappointed and don’t attach yourself to any outcome you may expect. Give up all expectations. Live free. Get in the flow and follow your mission. Carry the light.
Power to the Magdalene, blessed be to the plan and goddess speed. Don’t get distracted. He doesn’t need to choose you in this version of the cosmic play. You’re already married in heaven. Do what you came to do.
￼I’ve been in their place.